Wednesday, November 09, 2005

RAGE: I'm sorry, do I know you?

I am reporting this one from a completely third person POV. If you have ever been this person, knock it off.

THE FACTS: Happily driving the speed limit down a 2 by 2 highway in my Tundra (see previous postings for pictures. I'm very proud.) Drove through an intersection in the left lane and was joined by a right turning Avalanche from the intersection. A van in the right lane at least 15 car lengths behind me runs up on the Ave in the right hand lane and starts honking like a cross-eyed retarded chimpanzee under the influence with a new squeeze toy. (I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. The facts, nothing but the facts. There will be plenty time for opinions about this asshole later.) Completely aware that this can only get more entertaining...Err...I mean, out of hand, I back off a good 10 car lengths and observe the rest. I can honestly say these two people did not know each other. The van continued to "circle" the Ave while "communicating" in every fashion available. In this process, the van curbed up twice and damn near flipped on the second time. The Ave then reached pole at a red light to turn left. The van proceeds pull into the intersection to get in front of the Ave and then reverses back blocking the Ave in while being in the middle of the intersection. All lights turned green including the left turn arrow and the van didn't budge. I proceeded to go straight and leave this retard to his business of being exactly that. Who knows how it turned out. Honestly, I'd seen enough.

THE QUESTIONS: What the hell? That's my first one. This is the perfect reason why driver's licenses should expire every year and should not be renewed if you are having an especially bad year or have lost your fricken mind. This guy looked like he was fresh out of electro-shock therapy. Hair everywhere, bug eyed and bitter. Second, please tell me this man has NEVER had unprotected relations with anything other than a tin can? You can't. Some cross-eyed retarded chimp of the female making thought this was Mr. Right and he turned out to be Mr. Right-Now. Now this award winning off-spring is in some shack somewhere in Colorado making "love letters". The lady in the Ave should have been allowed to be armed just so that natural selection can occur and we can seriously reduce the number of these amazingly abundant citizens. These retards should all be tagged and if you bag one, you win a tax break or an educational grant or something great that another retard wouldn't appreciate.

THE POINT: To my title, I have no idea what this type of rage feels like. But once you have tasted it like that, you can't be normal ever again. It has to burn in your mind. How do you relieve yourself of it? Can't imagine it would be easy. Life is hard enough without adding the element of accidentally setting off one of these whack-os. If you are one of these whack-os, knock it off. Some of us do have guns. Tag or no tag, we'll take our chances. If you are the lady in the Ave, kudos go to you and your calmness. I would have run him off the road in that big ass truck, got out and used his broken boney frame for a tire chain. That's just me. To my defense of previous statements, that is not rage. That is redemption.